Things to learn from this holiday we call "Thanksgiving":
1. White wine is only meant to be consumed in great amounts. Rapaciously.
2. Thanksgiving dinner sucks if you're a vegetarian. Sure, I made myself a little grilled egg-and-cheese sandwich for the main course, but I was still expecting a lot of good sides. Yet the stuffing had meat in it--I mean, what the fuck now???? Fouling up my sweet potato casserole by putting sausage on top, I can deal with. But don't touch the stuffing, dude. That shit is sacred.
3. Atheists should not read psalms at the table if the rest of the table is decides that is what is going to happen. It's about as bad a decision as bringing up Nietzsche at the Jerry Falwell Memorial Museum and Gift Shop.
4. mashed potatoooooooooooeoeooeoeoooooooooooeoeeoeooooos.
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You know you love that Retch.
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